Well I refuse to sleep tonight to much going on tomorrow. I'm emotionally drained but I just can't sleep.

Let's see yesterday was my therapy session from hell in which my therapist went through and basically told me that something exisisted that never really crossed my mind. So now I have to deal with the fact that I may have been living in a fantasy world. Fantasy worlds rock! Stay out of mine.

Then there's the whole thing of tomorrow is my urology appointment. Maybe they will finally be able to tell me what is wrong , since I think that having a UTI (Urinary Tract Infection) for more than 6 weeks just insn't normal at all. My doctor the last time I was in put me on an anit-biotic and stay on it till you see the urologist. Well I think that right there speaks volumes.

So tomorrow is it. I am ready for news what kind of news? Any as long as there is an answer and a cure somewhere. I'm tired of being in pain all the time. Life just isn't fair that way I made a good decision so life is punishing me. Well I'm tired of being punished and shut out and lead astray and ignored and barated and LIED to by all the people I love, like my family.

PLEASE STOP LYING TO ME I KNOW WHEN PEOPLE LIE TO ME. IT ISN'T CUTE. IT ISN'T FUNNY. IT JUST NOT NICE, AND YOU ARE HURTING ME VERY BADLY!

The above is not for any single person it's just how I feel, and speaking of feelings I got mine hurt again tonight. I was saying to cHELLe and Stevie that I wasn't going to have any kids and she was like "no i guess not you've already had two". She didn't do this on purpose and she's not the one who hurt me. It wasn't cHELLe either it my mother.

I'M NOT A NANNY OR A SURROGATE MOTHER. I AM A SISTER AND A DAUGHTER AND EVEN A STEP-DAUGHTER, HERE'S A HINT... I MAY ACT LIKE IT IF YOU DIDN'T TREAT ME AS THE HIRED HELP IN HOUSE.

Agggggggghhhhhhhhhh. Why won't people just go away. I need to find a guy, scratch that make it two. One that I can grow to love and eventually settle down with and have a family with and everything else I've ever dreamed. The other to screw his brains out cause I'm sorry I'm 20 years old and ready-willing-and-able! So, world beware, I'm here and looking for a guy to screw!

more moving

I swear I live in Hell. Figurativly, cause the house that I live in is the greatest HOME I've ever had and I've only lived there for a couple of weeks.

So tonight I called my mom and told her I'd be over around 5 to pick some more of my stuff up and she was like okay. Well I left around 4 and it only takes 5-6 minutes to get from here to there, so I stopped at the flower shop to see Anne. So of course I ended up helpign since tomorrow is mother's day. Well I noticed it was getting really close to 5 and that I was still needed so I called my mom and told her that I was running late and that I probably woudn't be over till 6. So then she got an attitude and I was like well you know you don't have to be there for me to get my stuff I do have a key, and she was like "no, that's okay". I guess she doens't want me alone in her house.

So I left what I was doing and went over to get my stuff, I didn't want to have to hear it. So I got the stuff out of the closet where it had been shoved and heavy things put on the top shelf and put it all in the backseat area of my car. Then I asked mom for help with my desk cause I wasn't asking her husband. Well she was in the middle of dressing the baby so I went into the attic and got som more of my boxes. Then she asked her husband to carry it out. Well it didnt' fit into the back of my car so I had to leave it there. Along with my chair and my bike.

Then since that didn't fit I put the stuff from the attic in my car and those boxes were heavy but heaven forbid someone say can I help. LIFE SUCKS!

Went back to the shop afterwards and saw Anne she gonna let me work for her tomorrow so I can make some extra cash. She rox.

cHELLe ROCKS!!!

more moving

I swear I live in Hell. Figurativly, cause the house that I live in is the greatest HOME I've ever had and I've only lived there for a couple of weeks.

So tonight I called my mom and told her I'd be over around 5 to pick some more of my stuff up and she was like okay. Well I left around 4 and it only takes 5-6 minutes to get from here to there, so I stopped at the flower shop to see Anne. So of course I ended up helpign since tomorrow is mother's day. Well I noticed it was getting really close to 5 and that I was still needed so I called my mom and told her that I was running late and that I probably woudn't be over till 6. So then she got an attitude and I was like well you know you don't have to be there for me to get my stuff I do have a key, and she was like "no, that's okay". I guess she doens't want me alone in her house.

So I left what I was doing and went over to get my stuff, I didn't want to have to hear it. So I got the stuff out of the closet where it had been shoved and heavy things put on the top shelf and put it all in the backseat area of my car. Then I asked mom for help with my desk cause I wasn't asking her husband. Well she was in the middle of dressing the baby so I went into the attic and got som more of my boxes. Then she asked her husband to carry it out. Well it didnt' fit into the back of my car so I had to leave it there. Along with my chair and my bike.

Then since that didn't fit I put the stuff from the attic in my car and those boxes were heavy but heaven forbid someone say can I help. LIFE SUCKS!

Went back to the shop afterwards and saw Anne she gonna let me work for her tomorrow so I can make some extra cash. She rox.

cHELLe ROCKS!!!